


Now or Never

by Kangofu_CB



Series: Beg to Be Loved [3]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sadness, This is not my fault, angst and sadness, halsey Drabble challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 20:53:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kangofu_CB/pseuds/Kangofu_CB
Summary: Duo and Quatre's relationship is complicated and messy, full of emotions like love.  And frustration.





	Now or Never

**Author's Note:**

> This is my final contribution to the challenge (unless something strikes me to write one more) and it's the one I'm most proud of. It was written, hunched over my phone, in the airport parking garage while I waited for someone's plane to land. It's based on 'Now or Never' on the Hopeless Fountain Kingdom album.
> 
> Thanks to the others for including and encouraging me! It's been fun to stretch my writer wings!

_ I don't wanna fight right now _

_ Know you always right, now _

_ Know I need you 'round with me _

_ But nobody waitin' 'round with me _

_ Been through the ups _

_ Yeah the ups and the downs with me _

_ Got a whole lot of love _

_ But you don't wanna spread it 'round with me, yeah _

* * *

 

Quatre knew Duo was in his condo as soon as he opened the door, despite the lack of light and sound. He could  _ feel _  him, the frustration, determination, and a strange resignation.  He heaved a silent sigh.

 

Shrugging his jacket off, he made his way to the bar and a bottle of scotch, downing two burning swallows before he acknowledged the other man.

 

“Do we have to do this tonight, Duo? I've had a long day.”

 

He wasn't in the mood for their regularly scheduled disagreement. After a pause, he poured another glass of scotch, this one for Duo, turning towards the living room with them both in his hands.

 

Duo stepped forward into the scant available light, a nearly full moon shining through the wall of glass that was his penthouse view.  He was dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, broad shouldered and tall, but hunched in on himself a bit. Quatre could practically taste the despair wafting off of him.

 

Just as he opened his mouth to ask, the mixture of feelings so odd, Duo straightened. Determination replaced the despair. That was no surprise. Duo had practically dined on determination, using sheer grit and iron will to drag himself out of the slums of L2 and into the cockpit of his mecha, and from there to the Preventers, where he had skyrocketed up the chain of command, surprising everyone but Quatre. Not even Wufei had done better, and certainly Heero and Trowa didn’t have the social skills required.

 

No, the blonde had always known exactly what Duo was made of, had been drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  Even after the Barton incident, when Quatre had chosen the boardroom over the battlefield, and Duo had gone to L2 on a months-long undercover assignment, the connection had still been there when he came back.  Increased even, despite the distance.  Of course, the addition of a few inches of height and several pounds of muscle on the other man hadn’t hurt matters.  

 

Duo turned his head, chewing on his lip, a nervous gesture almost no one but Quatre ever saw, a sign of vulnerability.  He was lit from behind by the moonlight, profile in relief. Quatre had still not gotten used to the loss of the three foot long braid, its absence catching him by surprise again now.  It had happened on a mission gone wrong, courtesy of a freak with a razor sharp sword. A near miss resulting in a long scar just to the left of his spine and trailing across his shoulder, one that Quatre had explored at intimate length.  Duo still wore his hair long, tied at the nape of his neck, but it stopped at his shoulder blades, and he no longer braided it.  

 

Quatre stepped forward, pressing the glass into Duo’s hand, raising his own for another sip. He reached out, sliding his fingers above the waist of Duo’s jeans, under the hem of the soft t-shirt, stroking the warm skin he found there.

 

“Are you sure I can't convince you to let it go for tonight?”  He leaned in, running his nose along the length of the taller man’s throat, warm breath drifting along his skin. Duo shivered. “I promise to fight with you all you like in the morning.”

 

Again, the roiling shift of emotions. A sense of grim resignation rose to the top before it was wrestled down underneath a molten warmth that Quatre lived for, most days.

 

Duo loved with the fierceness of the warrior he had been molded into.  Not that he ever used that word,  _ love _ , but Quatre didn’t need it.  He knew it with a certainty few ever achieved.

 

Raising the glass he'd been given, Duo downed the liquor in a few rapid swallows, setting the glass off to the side with a shudder, his hands coming up to untuck the perfectly pressed dress shirt Quatre was wearing, nimble fingers working at the buttons rapidly.

 

Quatre laughed. “It's two hundred dollar scotch, Duo, it’s meant to be savored.”  He had another sip of his own drink.

 

“I am going to savor it.”

 

He plucked the glass out of Quatre’s hand, leaning down to plunder his mouth, tongue chasing all the drops of liquor he could find, and when he finally pulled back, Quatre was breathless and rock hard, and surprised to find himself halfway to his bedroom.

 

Duo made love to him with a reverence that he’d never seen before in their bed, using his hands and mouth to bring him to shuddering orgasm three times before pressing into him, firm and gentle, rocking slowly until he'd sobbed out his own completion in near silence against Quatre's neck.

 

It was a moment he found vaguely odd, meaningful in a way he couldn’t summon up the energy to figure out... But he was too tired to dwell on it, asleep almost instantly, with a vague impression of lips against his forehead.

 

In the morning, Duo was gone without a trace, except for a note on the counter in his familiar, slanted scrawl.

 

_ Q, _

 

_ I'm sorry. I should have told you last night. That's why I came. But I'm a selfish shit. _

 

_ I can't keep doing this. I need more than this, more than whatever time you have left over after the rest of your day. _

 

_ Une offered me the director position on Mars. I took it. _

 

_ I'll miss you. _

 

_ Duo _

  
  


The scrap of paper fluttered to the ground, falling from nerveless fingers, Quatre staring, unseeing, at the open expanse of blue sky visible from his windows.

**Author's Note:**

> Endless Thanks to gw-ficrec Friday for the beta read! This is greatly, greatly improved by her contribution!


End file.
